This is the third and final part of my 3 Rookie Writing Mistakes series. To read Part 1, click here To read Part 2, click here Being too nice to your charactersThis topic is an expansion of "Obstacles", introduced in Part 1 of this series.
In life, we tend to avoid conflict and will sometimes go to extraordinary lengths to be tactful. We are kind to the people with love. We have polite conversations. That exact philosophy makes for a very boring book. For examples from my own writing, we don't have to throw it all the way back to 2008. Instead, let's look the evolution of the "meet cute" in my current manuscript (all you need to know is that Maggie is starting her first day at work and Victoria is the CEO of the company, her love interest). Here's how I had them first meeting: Draft 1: Maggie is on Facebook as part of her job. From afar, Victoria sees that she's on Facebook and rolls her eyes. Draft 2: Maggie is on Facebook as part of her job. She sees Victoria, and involuntarily stands up, transfixed by Victoria. Victoria sees that she's on Facebook and rolls her eyes. Draft 3: Maggie finds herself in the elevator with Victoria and doesn't know who she is. She asks Victoria what her role at the company is and Victoria reveals that she's the CEO. Draft 4: Maggie finds herself in the elevator with Victoria and doesn't know who she is. She talks smack about the CEO, then Victoria reveals that she's the CEO. Which one do you want to read? In Draft 1, I thought of a relatable scenario--you get caught on Facebook at work. Happens sometimes, right? But it's not hooky or memorable at all. I was told to up the ante. So in Draft 2, not thinking outside the box yet, I kept the same scene but had Maggie stand up, which is sort of embarrassing, but not really. In Draft 3, I let go of the old beginning and rewrote the entire meet cute. Much, much better! I was proud of myself and thought I was done, until my writing class teacher told me to up the stakes even further. Maggie doesn't know that Victoria is the CEO--how can you get the most out of that? Draft 4 was born out of that question. I had Maggie hear some gossip about the CEO a couple pages before the meet-cute, and then let it loose to that person's face. Now that is embarrassing. Potentially fatal to her career--hey, sounds like we have conflict! It didn't end there. My first draft was 70k words of kindness toward my protagnoist who I love so much (and you don't hurt your loved-ones, right?). Check out how well Maggie does at work in the first draft: "He smiled kindly. 'We sure did. Pleasure to meet you in person. We've got plenty planned for you, so I hope you're ready to hit social, and write write write.' My voice chirped. 'I am!' From there, I was thrown into a whirlwind of social media accounts and powerpoint presentations. Andrew would hit me with compliments all along the way. 'You're so quick at this!' 'I can tell you're an active listener.' 'I can't wait to see what you've got up your sleeves.'" What a sweetheart Andrew is in this first draft. I modeled Maggie's first day after what a real first day as an intern looks like when you have a kind boss. And that made every work scene a one-way ticket to Snoozeville. Look at how Andrew evolved in my latest draft: "He didn’t stand up or shake my hand. 'Mmm--well. You have huge shoes to fill. Our last intern was here for a year on an exchange program with a Singaporean university. The Harvard of Asia, and it showed. She was a one percenter. Like I said, big shoes.' ....He glanced back at his computer, like he had remembered something more important than dealing with me. 'Anyway, I have a meeting so I can’t show you the ropes. Hailey will get you started.' I looked around, but no one was sitting anywhere in our area. Was he toying with me, punishing me for being inadequate?" Ouch. And there was born a novel-length rivalry. Every time Andrew is in the scene, the reader knows there's going to be drama (and strangely, they look forward to it). Of course, you don't need to be sadistic. The plot isn't that Maggie starts her new job and everyone hates her (unless that is the point of your novel). Application to your own writing First, refer back to Part 1's task of outlining the Want, Obstacle & Action in each section. Once you've done that, you have a handy reference sheet of all the obstacles in your book. Here are questions to ask yourself:
If you're looking for a great example of obstacles driving the narrative, check out Dahlia Adler's Last Will and Testament. Take note of how many obstacles are thrown in front of the protagonist, and how oddly enjoyable it is to read her struggle through them. We love our characters. But don't be too nice to them.
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AuthorWynn Bishop is a sometime-resident of San Francisco. She's a lover of extra-dark chocolate, indie electronica, minimalism, and a damn good book. ArchivesCategories |